She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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