who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
