He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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