i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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