i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We have so much sex to catch up on
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
