Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
