I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize