where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
