When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
