My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
