i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
