My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
