if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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