mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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