I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
