Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need