First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.