Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Randomize
