I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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