I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
