dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You ate ashes out of my bong
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