Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
