Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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