It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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