Your mouth is God's brothel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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