hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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