im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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