so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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