Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
