Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
