so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
