btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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