I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
