You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize