In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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