you turned your livingroom into a bong?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
