You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
3 2 1 whiskey
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
