I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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