I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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