Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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