I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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