You smell like stripper and shame
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
