Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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