Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
