Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How's work?
Spinning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
