My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
