..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
