i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
cat food counts as protein by the way
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
