Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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