if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
