I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im holly from the hills drunk
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
