please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize