He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's blow job season.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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