Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
