Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
