Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
