Apparently you make a good broom.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
