hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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