ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
