I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
