honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
