I can tuck mytits in my pants
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
