What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
