thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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