Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize