dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
