Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
