ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
