I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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