You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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