I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
