I just made out with a guy for $7.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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