So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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