he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
