Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize