I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
